Leaving You Behind
by dearestmonster
Summary: Years after the tragic death of Naruto, Sasuke can barely breathe. He has forgotten how to live. What was suppose to be a one night stand turns into much more. He learns to feel once more. With a dark past behind him that is determined to catch up Sasuke can't seem to find contentment over death, love, and above all himself.
1. Chapter 1

The blood from a simple cut while shaving streamed into tears, the pain into loneliness. Reflections only showed the truth of his pathetic life. Ragged breaths escape Sasuke's mouth as he could only picture one future for himself, the one future that is for everyone. To be alone.

The clothing he had on his back was restricting. Determined to remove each piece by piece, to free himself, he watched his hands unlatch the clothes from his body. He only paused to examine how his hands trembled to remove his necklace that was given to him long ago by someone he once loved. The color was pale and worn, as his clothes were. They lay in a heap on the floor, where they seemed to have always belonged.

In bewilderment he looked at himself in the mirror, was this truthfully him? His hand pulled at the skin on his face, yet the skin didn't feel as if it were there. He reached out to touch the mirror; the reflection may be the truth to his touch. His hand slid off the glass. This was truly the person his had become. Hollow and empty compared to what was once. Life belonged to these eyes. Now they remain empty. To dull the loneliness only a loud club with lusty bodies could make Sasuke feel less than this hollow self. The smell of sex would have to sedate. Sasuke slid on clothes he didn't plan to keep on. He spiked his hair in the back and left chunks of black tresses in the front over his face and eyes. His demeanor was cold yet he spilled sex appeal. Just like any night of conquests, he was ready to hunt.

There are some connections that cannot be ignored. They cannot be refused neither. The moment that their eyes caught the others, they did not leave. Sasuke's heated stare told whoever the man was, that he was going to make him beg to have sex, to be fucked raw into the mattress. What Sasuke didn't know was that man never to backed down from a direct challenge. He leered at Sasuke as he continued to grind into the ass of whatever slut that had been dancing with him. Sasuke careened closer to him, his drink in hand, their eyes never leaving. Waltzing between them was an appetite that needed to be satisfied. Watching this mystery man dry hump every ass there, left a growing need in his pants. As he sat down at the bar he didn't dare to hide it. He refused assistance offered by anyone that came by. His prey was in sight just beyond the strobing lights and the parade of smoke.

This man was wearing shorts that showcased the curve of his ass. They were black denim and slightly fraying at the hem. With every beat of the music that delicious ass moved in rhythm. Sasuke licked his lips. The lights were too dark, so whoever he was could have brown or black hair. It didn't really matter. The color of his eyes meant just as little. Sasuke wanted that body. He needed it.

He put the beer down and approached the man he planned to ravish. Not once did their eyes lose contact. The man pushed away his dancing partner and took the final steps to close the distance. He wrapped his arms around Sasuke's neck and ground his hips against Sasuke's. A delicious smirk adorning his lips. Sasuke dug his fingers in his hips creating even more friction. They almost matched in height but Sasuke appeared a few inches above. He leaned into his ear taking delight in the scent of the man. "We should leave."

There were no reservations as he was taken by the hand and lead out of the club. "Is my place okay?" Sasuke roughly asked

Turning his head slightly, the stranger murmured, "Of course. As if I'd let you through my front door." Sasuke grinned at how pretentious this boy was. He loved dominating cocky boys who felt like they had control when in reality, they had nothing. Luckily for Sasuke, the club was close to his apartment and the jaunt was over before his had lost his interest in the boy. Sasuke unlocked the door and the boy sat upon the couch looking sexually charged. He looked around with curiosity as his eyes traced his surroundings. "You are a rather lonely individual," said the stranger.

"I'm not one who makes friends easily," replied Sasuke. Just then, the stranger stood up and grabbed Sasuke's hand, leading him to the couch. His touch was gentle which surprised Sasuke. Sluts never know how to touch gently; they only know how to swallow.

The stranger straddled Sasuke and looked him in the eye. Something about his eye's stood out. The color was beautiful. They were bluish silver that glistened in the light and looked like they could see through anyone. He was mesmerized by his eyes when suddenly he felt a hand beginning to rub his groin area. He felt himself grow and he leaned forward to touch the lips of his stranger. The scent of the boy's lips drew him in and left him in a sexual high. He loved the way his tongue swirled around his own. The metal bar that was pierced in the boy's tongue only increased his sexual drive. He had been with boys who had piercings like that before and he knew that they were experts in the oral actions. He picked the boy up and walked to his bedroom. Due to the boy's slender body, Sasuke knew that he could control him without any doubt. He tossed the boy onto the bed and started grinding his shaft into the boy's tight ass.

"I think you have some work to do." Sasuke stated as he pulled away. "Oh? Like what?" the boy asked coyly. "Like sucking my dick. . . and licking my balls." Sasuke answered standing up and beginning to take off his shirt. The boy rose off the bed and assumed his position on his knees in front of Sasuke. He slowly unbuttoned Sasuke's pants in order to make him anticipate the pleasure the boy was going to give. He lowered Sasuke's pants and began to jerk his throbbing cock. The boy leaned up and bit Sasuke's hip. He moved his tongue from one hip to the center and proceeded to kiss his way to Sasuke's shaft. Suddenly he thrust Sasuke's whole cock down his throat and began to use his tongue is ways Sasuke had never felt before. Sasuke tried to hold back his moans in order to not look like a virgin but one slipped out. To cover up his embarrassment, he grabbed the back of the stranger's head and began to pound his face with his cock, trying to go further and further down the boy's throat. The sounds that were summoned by his pelvis thrusting back and forth erupted from the boy's mouth and turned Sasuke on even more. The wet thrashing that was going on inside the boy's mouth, mixed with the movement of the stranger's tongue, urged Sasuke to keep going, faster and harder. After a while of having his cock pleasured, Sasuke pulled the boy up and shoved him against the wall. The boy's face felt the unsmooth surface of the gridded wall and instinctually, he arched his back waiting for Sasuke's cock to be inserted. Sasuke smiled as he knew what the stranger wanted. He forcefully stuck his cock inside the boy's ass going balls deep. He began to roughly move his hips back and forward to his own rhythm all while clawing at the back of his new found sex toy. He had never felt another ass that felt so good before. The boys' ass felt like cavern of warmth and softness. It was tight and smooth and felt like heaven. Due to the boy's unique body, Sasuke lusted for more and kept going faster and harder. He tugged on the boy's hair, making his back arch more and more. Sasuke wanted to see the pain upon the pretentious little princess but upon looking at his expression, he was shocked. The boy was on cloud nine. Instead of losing his erection, like he expected, his dick grew harder. Something about this boy made his body ravish in pleasures he had ever expected to feel. The boy opened his eyes and his gaze met Sasuke's. He pulled Sasuke's throbbing dick out of his ass and shoved him on the bed. "I'll show you just how real pleasure is supposed to feel like." the boy whispered in Sasuke's ear as he climbed on top of his cock. He began to ride Sasuke. Every now and then, he would grind down deep and Sasuke's dick would feel as if it were alive and shouting with pleasure. He couldn't help but breathe heavily and moan every time he felt his cock slide deep into the boy's ass. The stranger continued to pleasure Sasuke by changing his pace and arching his back. The motions seemed to be like the ocean's waves running along the shore, running over Sasuke. He felt the waves of heat and ecstasy rush over his body very time the boy thrust his hips back and forth. Sasuke had ever felt this sensual sensation before in his life and he engulfed all of the feelings. The hair on the back of his neck and arms rose as he felt himself about to cum. He arched his back and exhaled the words, "I'm going to cum." The boy's eyes slowly opened and he raked his claws down Sasuke's chest and stomach. He could feel the pleasure radiating within Sasuke. Sasuke's fingers gripped the sheets as he felt himself releasing his semen deep into the boy's ass. From his lips, escaped one last moan as he fell limp from the high his body was feeling. Quietly the boy removed Sasuke's cock from within him and bend down to lightly touch lips in order to say goodbye. He slowly dressed himself with a coy smile on his face and proceeded to head to the door, leaving his partner behind. This arrangement was what it was. There would be no embraces, no sweet words exchanged, no lingering glance for Sasuke to return. This is just how Topher was.


	2. Chapter 2

The wind, always the fucking wind, kept Topher on the brink of being cold or bitterly cold. Tonight it was bitterly cold. He sucked in an air of smoke and held it for a beat. Enjoying the feeling, enjoying the simple moment. Tilting his head he let the smoke out and watched it disperse in the darkness. He was a good lay. But there was something there. An attraction, a moment when he looked into the strangers inky eyes and saw just a lonely man. It ached to think about that man's apartment. When he had taken hold of his hands and led him to couch, there was such surprise it almost scared Topher. He had never seen someone have so much affection hidden behind hate and loneliness. His hands, they were soft. They sparked heat within Topher. The feeling still lingered. His fingers tingled with the heat as he mechanically put the cigarette into his mouth to inhale the fumes he had grown so close too. Topher had fallen in love with the burning sensation that filled his lungs as each drag slowly killed him. He had made a connection with cigarettes that most people wouldn't think of. Cigarettes were momentary pleasure to that of the smoker and then when the smoker was finished, the fag was discarded, deemed useless. Topher had felt this relationship with the many of boys that had devoured his body for the night, only to throw him aside the next day.

Finally, he let the burning filter slip out of his fingers and blow away in the wind. He headed for the train back to his apartment. His bed howled for him and his eyelids drooped with exhaustion. The music from his iPod swirled around his head and drowned out the noise of the track grinding against the wheels of the train. His gaze drifted out of the window, not fixed on anything in particular. He reached into his pocket in order to tap the screen of his phone in the correct method which would transcribe his whereabouts to his roommate, Savana, when his stomach sank. The familiar presence of his cell phone wasn't there. He thrust his hands into every available pocket that was attached to his garments but he found no phone. "_Fuck!"_

The early morning sun radiated into Sasuke's window, landing on his face. His eyes glistened from the intrusion of light that fell onto his bed. He sat up to the familiar emptiness. His heart ached for the stranger from last night to return, yet his mind knew that his wish was but a lucid dream. This boy was just another face in the static of people that would pass him on the streets; Sasuke had no magical lamp that would grant him such happiness. He was not the prince of some fairy tale, he was the villain. To cease the chaos rampant in his mind, he climbed out of bed when his foot brushed against a foreign object poking out of the sheets that hung from the edge of the bed. He bent over and lifted the device, turning it over in his fingers, feeling the smooth screen cool his heated phalanges. After the drowsiness dispersed, he realized that it was a cell phone. Unlocking the phone, he tactfully went through the messages that permeated the inbox, trying to find its owner. He had no idea how long it had been there but his blood began to course in the veins that lined his entire body as a hope arose within his chest. He hungered for the phone to belong to the mysterious imp that had briefly lain with him last night. Some Savana girl had ravished his phone with 50 text messages frantically trying to find out the location of the boy. "_Topher."_ "_Topher." "Topher."_ The characters that came together in such a pattern to create this identification seeped into the iris's that glided over them. This name rang out in multiple messages. The very last message that was sent from Savana read, "_Hi, This is Topher, the boy from the club. I was wondering if I left my phone at your house?"_

Savana, Topher's best friend, cuddle dived onto Topher when she felt her phone buzzing from a new text message. This ghostly man had Topher's phone. "_TOPHER! WAKE UP! YOUR PHONE HAS BEEN FOUND!" _Savana exclaimed as she nuzzled her face against Topher's palpitating chest.

"_What the hell? Savana. It's too early. . . .Wait, my phone!?" _

"_Aren't you glad I woke you up?" _

"_So he has it?" _

"_Yup, 12:30, Starbucks down the street. You've got a hot date."_

"_Oh shhsh. I'm just getting my phone back." _Topher yawned, rolling over onto his stomach and pushing himself onto his elbows. _Ohhhhhh dear._

_It's 12:35. Where the hell is he? Does he want his goddam phone back or not? I'm sick of waiting. Fuck this kid. I'm going home. Fucker._

Just as Sasuke felt his leg muscles contract under his weight to set him standing, someone tapped his shoulder.

"_What the fuck?!" _Sasuke said.

"_Excuse me, I'm pretty sure you have my phone." _replied a voice that cantellated through Sasuke's head.

"_Topher?"_

"_You got it."_

"_Uh. yeah. Umm. Here is your phone. It was under my bed."_

"_Thank you. I'm sorry. I didn't realize it fell out. . .I uh, should probably leave now."_

"_Yeah. So. hmm." _Suddenly Sasuke's tongue contorted into knots that restricted his speech. He fell silent and his leer cast itself onto the hard cold tiles that reflected his inner feelings: scuffed and dirtied.

Topher could see, on the table, that there was two cups of coffee waiting. The hot steam slowly rose out of the perforated lid and twirled around in the slight breeze from the heater. _Oh, I've got no time for this. Well, he did buy me coffee. Oh shit. Fine._

"_Is that coffee for me?" _questioned Topher, awkwardly smiling for a second.

"_Oh. Yeah, I err. . .wondering if you wanted to for a little talk?"_ Sasuke answered, stumbling over his words like a blind person trying to run down the stairs without help. _What the fuck did I just say? He's going to think I'm crazy. My god._

Instead of the expected reply of, "_ Oh no. I've got to go," _all Sasuke heard was a giggle and the boy sat down.

Topher reached for the coffee and tilted his head back so the warm mixture could fall into his mouth and be swallowed. He set the coffee down and traced the lid's circular patterns with his pointer finger before his eyes raised to meet the stranger's stare.

"_You never told me your name Mr. Mystery._" Topher stated from behind the lenses that allowed his eyes to see.

"_Sasuke. It's Sasuke." _

"_Saaaasuuuke."_

"_Is it weird to you_?" Sasuke questioned slightly agitated.

"_Not at all. I think it's a unique name. I've never met someone with that name before._"

"_Topher's not so common either._" Sasuke retaliated, crossing his arms, slightly pouty.

_He's so cute. Like a puppy, easily hurt yet adorable. _Topher thought to himself.

"_I know. But who has time to be common? Common people are boring and typical."_

"_You are far from common with what you did last night." Oh shit. No. _Sasuke forgot to filter his thoughts.

Laughter erupted from Topher's throat. He knew he was a god in the sack but he didn't expect Sasuke to be so blunt.

"_Thank you."_

"_I didn't mean that. I mean, I did, but I didn't mean to physically say it. Oh god. Umm. Well, I'm going to go before this really gets weird." He abruptly stood, chair scraping the tiles, causing a few people to look their way. "So, there's your phone. Have a great day. Bye." Oh fuck my life. I just ruined my first date. _

"_Wait." Topher pleaded, grabbing Sasuke's hand before he could escape. "Come to the Wilmer Hotel on Friday. My friend is hosting a big party event for her Charity and I'm kind of dateless."_

"_YES." why am I yelling? _Dead silence fell in the coffee shop and people began to whisper about the crazy man in the corner.

"_Here's my number. I'll see you then."_ Topher said as he slid a folded sheet of paper into Sasuke's front pants pocket, coyly smiling. Topher then stepped past Sasuke and strutted towards the door, only briefly glancing back to catch the eye of his newly found date for Friday.


	3. Chapter 3

The week had dragged by at an alarmingly slow rate and the anticipation for the next meeting ate away at Sasuke's patients. Minutes felt like hours and hours felt like days. Time played a cruel joke on Sasuke and when the day finally arrived, relief fumigated Sasuke's being. He had all of the details he needed for the night. The party started at 8 o'clock and lasted until one in the morning. It was a formal ballroom party so tuxes were mandatory and a live orchestra would be playing. the ball was of masquerade fashion and any money donated would be given to the charity. It was a simple yet elegant party. The guests would file in with their dates. They would sit at the tables covered in cloth and flowers. The music would will play softly, lullabying the ears that it kissed. Then, when the party would come to an end and the cluster of people would begin to diffuse, sasuke planned on drawing the boy in for a final kiss of the night. Only the moon would be a witness of the two's electricity sparking in the dead of night.

8 o'clock was fast approaching. The time for the meeting was soon to be at hand and the two could hardly contain themselves. Topher, dressed in the finest white tux and Sasuke, in the blackest tux available, met under the blossom tree that was outside the Wilmer Hotel. The moon was full and bright, looming over the two couples in the distance, waiting for the act to commence. Sasuke extended an arm to Topher to which the young boy responded and intertwined his own arm, linking together. They proceeded through the big glass doors that separated the blistering cold wind from the warm candle lit room where people were drinking bubbling champagne and making idle conversations. The scent of wine and cooking food tickled the palate of Sasuke. He hadn't realized that he forget to eat because vivid images of his hands running over the pale skin of Topher thrashed violently deep in his conscious. He was transfixed upon the idea and it brought him to a level of ecstasy that only once briskly rattles his senses; the night of the club. They made their way to a dinner table with Topher's name labeled on delicate manila paper. They took their seats and the evening game had begun.

Promptly after a light dinner, the music began to echo louder and louder through the halls and guests began to assume positions along the center of the ballroom like pieces of a chessboard. Each pair came together and battled together in stoney awkward dances. Sasuke watched in amusement as his eyes traced the patterns of basic ballroom dances that these simpletons tried to execute. He was quite content in his little world of critiquing the awful rigid bodies when something brought his attention back to reality. Topher's hand lingered on top of Sasuke's. A wave of horror contorted onto Sasuke's face and Topher's intentions finally came to light, he wanted to dance. Sasuke tried to pull his hand away but before he could, Topher was already tugging him along. He begrudgingly marched behind his companion like a robot whose joints weren't properly oiled. Topher turned to face his partner.

"_Who is going to be the woman in this brigade?" _Sasuke questioned.

"_I'm experienced in many things dear. I'll be the woman." _

Sasuke's hands found their place on the boy's almost as if it always seemed to have belonged there. He faced Topher and his eye's enraptured him like they had on the night they met. All the stiff joints and even his begrudging thoughts melted away under the mood lighting and this man's eyes. Sasuke couldn't help but feel nostalgic. This scene felt natural. The moment felt borrowed. But as long as the music kept it's tune he would ignore the offensive thoughts. Though he had entered Topher's body before, it wasn't till this moment he was connected to Topher truly.

Topher's ability to play the woman was just shy of convincing. The need to be in control would show through at the hesitant back step of a foot. Maybe the mischievous grin in his eye gave him away. With both eyes open for the first time in a long time, the night ended in almost a blink.

Topher didn't let go of Sasuke's hand, he held it as they picked up jackets and kept it tightly in his till a taxi was at the threshold of their departure.

"It was a good night. I haven't had one of those in a long time." That strange sadness entering Sasuke once again as it had on the night they meet.

"I suppose you'll want to leave with your hand?" Topher asked in a teasing way. Anything to keep the darkness away.

Sasuke grinned and glanced toward the moon's light that kept it's brilliance through the cold cold night. Only witness accountable as Sasuke leaned forward and crushed his lips to Tophers. He had planned on electricity to course through him, but it was something much different he felt. Even Topher's lips tasted different. It as a haze of warmth a moment of peace. Did the other man feel it too? When he pulled back and used his free hand to caress his cheek, he knew he had felt it too. His eyes told him so.

"You're welcome to keep my hand, but since it's attached. There would be no choice by for you to come home with me."

Topher nodded and for a second time was lead to Sasuke's apartment.

The couple entered the apartment and headed for the bedroom. Sasuke placed his hands on Topher's waist and drew forward to gently caress his lips against Topher's. The second their lips met in passionate embracement, Sasuke's heart fluttered and his muscles tightened. He could not describe the sensation welling up inside every ounce of his body. He was sure that Topher could feel the same thing. He just knew it. Human instincts kicked in and Sasuke began to unbutton Topher's tux. His fingers roughly ripped at the fabric as if Topher was a bird in a cage that needed to be free. Tossing the expensive shirt aside, Sasuke removed his own, breathing heavily in expectation. He spun his love around and pressed him against the same wall that still contained the sweet scent of the boy. He reached around with his hand and felt how hard the boy already was, grabbing and groping every inch that was thickened from blood flow. He easily unsnapped the pants and let them fall off the tiny figure. The only thing that separated his hand and his prize was a simple black man thong. When he noticed how little fabric was holding him back, he dropped to one knee and tore at the tiny strings above the boy's asshole. His teeth gripped the thong as he reared his head back until he heard the tearing sound of the soft thread. It hung loosely from his mouth and he smiled in triumphant. The thong fell limp to the floor as Topher lowered his torso and arched his back, making his hole more easily accessed too. Sasuke reacted without hesitation and thrust his face forward, his tongue aimed directly at the tight taint. The delicious taste of cotton candy pervaded his mouth as his tongue lubricated the boy's hole. The distinct sound of fingernails digging into the wall enveloped Sasuke's eardrum and it only turned him on more. He spit, trying to ready the oraphis for the thrashing that it was about to happen. He stood against and within seconds, his pants laid limp on the ground, shoes and socks as well. He grabbed the front of Topher's hip with one hand and inserted his cock deep into the warmth that awaited him. His body began the ritual procedure of rocking back and forth to the rhythm that suited his taste. It started off as a jackhammer in the first few thrusts when suddenly Sasuke lost the urge to pound violently and felt a compassion within him so he slowed down and allowed his feelings take control. He leaned forward to kiss the back of his partner's neck. One of his hands slid over the chest and could feel the heartbeat of his lover. The regulated thumping that forced life to continue living heated his fingertips. He pulled out and lightly turned Topher's head around, his body following the notion. His lips found their right place along the ridges of Topher's. Life swam between the two as they had morphed into one being. He withdrew and lead the boy to the soft sheets that would be the only other thing that would feel the intense passion. He laid Topher down on his back and outlined his abs with kisses. When he was at the base of the boy's pride, he looked into the sea of blue that was contained within Topher's eyes. The look of immense joy exploded from them and Sasuke knew that this was special. Topher's penis nuzzled the back of Sasuke's throat as he sucked and slurped. Sasuke's head bobbed up and down at a lulled pace, every second only intensified the feelings that kept bellowing from the both of them. Moans and deep breaths dribbled out of Topher at random intervals as different parts of his cock dabbled in enjoyment. His fingers interlocked with the sheets and his back occasionally hovered above them due to the waves of steamy intimacy he was receiving.

A decent amount of time passed and Topher was ready to return the favor to Sasuke. He sat Sasuke back and straddled him. He inserted Sasuke's throbbing dick into his ass, slowly and sweetly. He grabbed Sasuke's head as his own body strummed along to a unique series of grinding down upon Sasuke. Their eyes locked as Sasuke leaned up to wrap his arms around the body that was treating him to treasures he had never known before. The gyrations continued to please him but there was something else that enraptured his interested more. It was the unnatural pathway that guided both of them on the same mental level. Their bodies tangled together in perfect harmony and their hearts beated in a melodic tune only the both of them could hear. He brushed his lips against the nipples that he admired and desired for. They tasted of syrup and enticed him. Hands of his partner, ran on imaginary tracks through his hair, slightly tugging and pulling the locks. Topher's arms encased Sasuke's head and he rested his chin on top. He knew that Sasuke was about to finish by the way his body convulsed and tightened. His heart, revved along in unison to Sasuke's. Both could feel the pulsations. Beating. Burning. Blasting. The tingling in Sasuke's dick reminded him that he was about to cum. The arms that encircled Topher constricted and his teeth chomped down on the sensitive nipple that sat, erect, in front of them. He couldn't control the pressure that they executed but could taste the blood that they claimed. The ejaculation overwhelmed him. The lungs that resided in his chest quivered and begged for air. He had been holding his breath from the excitement. Finally he answered their plea and allowed oxygen to relieve their pain.

Topher climbed off and went to the bathroom to clean up while Sasuke crawled under the blankets. After Topher finished, he walked into the bedroom to collect his things. He was picking up an article of clothing when something fell heavily onto his shoulders, it was Sasuke.

"You don't plan on leaving, do you?"

"I didn't know if I was welcomed to stay. I don't want to cross your boundaries."

"Shhsh." was the only thing Topher heard before he was pulled under the sheets and into the arms of the man who had ravished his body moments earlier. They laid together, Topher in front and Sasuke holding him. The shimmer of the moon lit the floor into a silvery meadow of carpet fibers and extravagant garments. The simplicity of the two drove Topher into a comfortable place to which pressed on his eyelids until they were centimeters from only seeing darkness.


	4. Chapter 4

_There was an empty house before Sasuke. Each step closer he got was more hesitant than the one before. The air was stagnant around him, everything felt hollow. He felt the core of himself missing. Inside, surely inside the house he would be able to find the missing pieces. The house groaned as he opened it's wooden door. The floor bowed under his steps, which kept their slow pace. He wasn't sure what led him to the stairs, but he climbed up and found himself standing before a dark room. The door was wide open, but Sasuke stayed frozen at the threshold. Within the darkness a rhythmic beeping pushed out into the hall. It echoed again and again. If only to stop the noise Sasuke would have done anything. His breathing labored, he knew what it was. He knew. He entered and the room's dim light source, a small lamp, spotlighted a patient in a hospital gown lying on a the bed. His skin translucent, Sasuke dared not touch the man, though his hands begged to feel him one last time. He could break him. Lose him...tears boiled forth, he couldn't keep them away. The only hands that would be able to touch this man would be that of deaths._

His eyes blinked open. Wetness staining his cheeks. His arms were still around Topher causing bile to rise in his throat.

Naruto passed almost two years ago, Sasuke couldn't even speak that name for most of that time. Naruto was his love; his soulmate. How could he let another man, one he barely knew come close to him like this. His arms pushed Topher away from him and he rose to the bathroom. He heard the slight moans of him waking up, he just needed to get away. He slid to the floor. He did want to see his reflection. It disgusted him. He wanted no reminder of the previous events that happened in the last week, but a film was playing in his head. He played the main villain.

A knock softly alerted Sasuke, "Are you okay? Do you want breakfast?" Sasuke stood and slammed the door open leaving Topher in surprise.

"You should leave now."

Topher stared at him for a moment. Utter confusion. Reasons, explanations running tracks into his mind of why. He wanted to play it cool. Topher wouldn't let himself be affected by the sluts he slept with...but Sasuke wasn't some slut that picked him up at a bar. Surely last night changed something. Anything.

"It was good for me." Sasuke turned to see himself in the mirror so he wouldn't have to look at Topher. "Was good for you right? But really I have some engagements I have to get to. So you can leave now." Topher nodded, words forming no meaning in his mind. "You're just some whore I slept with so I shouldn't even care." he looked over to Topher, who was frozen to his spot. With that Sasuke said bye in the most condescending voice he could muster and closed the bathroom door. Praying that Topher would be gone when he emerged.

Momentary seconds passed before Topher moved toward his clothing thrown about the room. "What did I do? Is he really mad at me? I can't believe he called me a whore. What a piece of shit." Once he was fully clothed again, he headed for the door. He glanced at the bathroom door before he made his exit. He wasn't really sure what to do. This was a first for him. Usually the men wanted breakfast, or at least a morning blow job before they shushed him out of the room. "Fuck you too asshole, call me a whore."

Sasuke endured arduous seconds in front of the mirror staring at the detestable man looking back at him. He waited till he could hear his front door close before he even moved to the shower. The shower was not nearly as satisfying as it was suppose to be. As he watched the water cycle down the drain he just wished that memories of every man he had ever felt for, every man that he could possible let into his bed, follow suit. What he did to Topher wasn't fair. It wasn't right, but if he had woken up beside him, if he had let himself swallow the affection. Naruto would have meant nothing.

Naruto had been his best friend. His soulmate. His lover. They fit so perfectly together that there were no seams where Sasuke ended and Naruto began. The relationship wasn't always basic, fights happened, miscommunication. Sasuke could act like a dick and Naruto could be completely idiotic. But when Naruto would smile at Sasuke, his face would melt all the cold in his heart. Warm him to summer heat. Each 'I love you' was meant conclusively; there was no room to argue otherwise. It wasn't but two years ago that Naruto became ill, when he came home and told Sasuke his days were numbered he said it with a smile. He said it to try and warm Sasuke. Yet all he could see, all he would let himself see where the threads were beginning to show. The two of them unraveling.

Sasuke didn't really have anywhere to go. His office could run on their own. They were but the perfect machine his father had built. He walked around his apartment, cleaning bits of things out of place. He dusted the tables. He cleaned the only dish in the sink. As he looked at his empty home, he felt had been months since he had encountered Topher, but still left his imprint on Sasuke. His heart felt heavy. Sasuke reached into his liquor cabinet and took out a bottle of vodka, then another. This would be a good start. If he needed more, there would always be somewhere close by.

Sasuke pushed whoever it was bouncing on his cock and rolled over grumbling about the rising sickness coming in wave after wave. He hurriedly shuffled to his bathroom and let his churning stomach empty itself.

"I'm just going to leave..." Sasuke heard the voice, but didn't care to look up from the toilet. He remembered mumbling whatever and his world went black, He woke up in a haze, he wasn't sure if minutes passed, or hours. Alcohol was still in his system still very present. He heard a ping then another. His phone?

Sasuke walked into the other room and picked up his phone off the table. Messages from his assistant updating him on the company. But something compelled him to keep the device in his hands. His fingers clumsy went over his contacts. In his head counting how many were one night conquests. Then he saw Topher's name. His hands acted on his own and put the phone to his ear listening to each ring waiting to hear his voice. It went to voicemail. He called again not in control of himself.

Topher looked with detest at his phone. Sasuke was calling, for a second time. Savana sleepily peered over his shoulder from her resting spot on the couch. "Only pick it up if he calls a third time, give him 5 seconds to offer his life to you and then hang up."

Sasuke went to voicemail once again. With obsession he called again instantly. On the second ring his call was answered.

"What do you want?" His voice was dripping with malice. That was just fine.

"I...I just really." Nothing was coming out of Sasuke's mouth quite coherently. "Say I sorry. Sorry. Really sorry. I feel so heavy without you." The last sentence sloshed out of Sasuke's mouth barely forming words.

Anger was beginning to boil to the surface. He wasn't a sex toy. He wasn't a yoyo to come back with the tug of a string.

"Sasuke fuck off. Don't talk to me." With that the phone call should have ended, but it didn't. Topher sat in a fermenting atmosphere of hatred. Sasuke continued to speak as if Topher's words had no effect on him.

"I was there when he died. The room had been silent. The beating of his heart on the monitor just became a background filter. Yet..." His voice cracked as the word yet came out as a drunken slur. "I knew it was time for him to leave. I...loved Naruto so much. I can't just let you in." The phone went silent.

When the phone call ended, rage masked vision and made the room appear blurry. Every guy that had drunk dialed Topher after a fight or a break up always hit Topher with a wall of hatred. Subconscious secrets were to be spread sober and not because liquor loosened the lips. Topher subdued the anger by feeling the familiar rectangular pack that contained his one true love, cigarettes. He made his exit to the balcony that overlooked the streets of the city. The fresh air chilled his body and his lungs breathed in the oxygen particles, freezing them with the air's wintery touch. The cigarette dangled between parted lips as he fumbled with the almost empty lighter. The cold sensation that his lungs previously felt vanished as the burning smoke of death rushed in and out with every drag he took. His eyes looked at the people walking up and down the weathered pavement, his thoughts sprinting in different directions. He inhaled deeply into the burning embers and when he exhaled, he leaned back, face exposed to the night sky. "Fuck that guy. Asshole." The whole ordeal between Sasuke and himself only bothered him. "Don't call me. Stupid ass. Gah. What a dick." It pestered the back of his mind until it nudged its way to the front and consumed his brain. He had never been rejected without reason and it pissed him off. "Who even does that? Fucker. Oh I'm so sorry. Oh go fuck yourself. But I love you. Oh boo hoo. Cry someone else a river. Dickhead. Everything was shit. The last puff of poison split from view and Topher returned to the toasty dwelling place he called a bedroom. Savana, passed out on the couch in nothing but a blanket, creaked her eyes open briefly,

"I hope his life is in your hands now." Her eyes returned to the same position before they were disturbed. Everything was quiet. Sleep questioned Topher and the drained body replied with gentle snores.


	5. Chapter 5

Morning light illuminated the apartment as Topher's internal alarm clock went berserk. Rolling out of bed, somber emotions took control of him and weighed him down. Joints that normally responded quickly and with ease suddenly stiffened like they were unoiled and rusted. Pancake odors wafted through the room and lead Topher into the kitchen. Savana, dressed in apron attire, stood by the stove, spatula in one hand and plate in the other. Sweat trickled her brow as her concentration thickened in order to not burn the food. Cooking was not one of her strong talents, as proved by the blacken stack that loomed on the plate. Topher sat down as Savana placed the plate in front of him. She slouched down parallel to him, eyes piercing and full of wonder. She vaguely recalled the redden face that ran out of the apartment to smoke.

"What happened? Last night. I could sense the flames in your face." she questioned with concern.

"I just need a break."

"That's not the first time you've said that." Care resonated in her vocal cords.

"You are right, but it's true. He called me last night. I was dumb enough to pick up." Topher explained through bites.

Savana knew all too well what happened when intoxicated men dialed Topher's digits; tragedy. Savana wrapped her arms around her best friend and nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck.

'Boys are Icky, Topher." Not caring that Topher was trying to add another forkful to his mouth, she continued her ravishing.

"Mom has people call her at work," Savana started telling Topher still wrapped around him. "They are elderly and lonely. Sometimes Mom is the only person they will talk to in weeks that will listen to them Their kids have left, their spouses dead. They are just lonely."

Topher pushed her away, "Are you condoning his actions?"

She shook her head in disagreement. "Noo not condone. He's a dick. I'm just pointing out in an insightful way that he is a lonely man and he used last night as a way to express his loneliness."

"I don't have time for this. I have work soon. You have homework you need to do."

"Shhhsh, Topher. Don't ruin this by talking. Homework is a myth."

"I expect it finished when I get back dear." Topher said as he closed the door to their apartment.

As Topher approached the wedding magazine he owned, excited energy burst forward. He had a full agenda that he wanted to knock out before he left that night. The day was long and hard, but passed pleasantly fast. Topher even left work in a good mood. He had proved himself to be trained to work with the editing team during their weekly meetings. No one bothered him on the train, not even a single bum in the streets asking for loose change. Why he even thought that when he got home he could relax. He was surprised. Shocked to find Sasuke sitting on the couch in his livingroom. Savana pouring him a cup of tea like they lived in goddamn England.

"Oh there he is now. If you catch him before he bolts out of the door you can get the sorry over with." She added as she dropped cubes of sugar into her cup. Topher dropped his bag by the door and started out the entrance. Sasuke caught his wrist and kept him to the threshold.

"There is no excuse Topher." He didn't look him in the eyes. "I betrayed your trust. I'm sorry."

Topher was agitated at this whole scene. At Savana for letting him into their home. At Sasuke for daring to show his face.

"What do you expect me to do exactly? Welcome you in with loving arms and tell you that I'm so happy to see you, that it's been ages and we have so much catching up to do? Fuuuuuck that idea prick," He directed his glare to Savana. "No cuddles for a month, be happy if I speak to you at all this week."

Savana verbally whined at her punishment. Sasuke left the apartment finding that any word spoken would do nothing to lessen the situation. At the very least he could rest that Savana knew of Naruto. She has been one of the first outside the friends he use to have in another lifetime ago that listened fully to his pain.

Following Topher to his room Savana tried to explain. Explain Naruto explain Sasuke. Explain why he ended up having a civil tea party instead of ending up as a meat pie. He slammed the door on her. It did hurt Savana to be shut out. She didn't take rejection well. Her fists pounded on the door till Topher opened it to yell at her. They've already received a noise complaint. Another would not be appreciated.

"Naruto was his partner. They lived together for six years and knew each other for much longer."

Topher was not impressed.

"That isn't an excuse Savana. He used me and I let him borrow my trust he didn't pay it back."

She looked without words. "If you don't mind, I need space. Go away." Topher snapped as he closed the door, blocking Savana out. She heard the click of the lock and retreated to her own room, defeated. Enough time had passed where the temperature increased and the breeze felt enjoyable rather than freezing. The frequent itching that came around whenever Topher craved a cigarette was intensified by the intrusion of Sasuke and the violation of Savana. His anger boiled and his heart raced. He knew that he wasn't suppose to smoke inside his apartment but he couldn't allow Savana to weasel her way into his good side by going out to the balcony. She always cheated her punishment by nuzzling and being needy. Topher always caved. She was so cute when she pouted. "_Damn her adorableness!" _There was a window that rested right above his work desk. He removed the things that clustered the top surface and opened the window. He climbed on top and lit up a cigarette. The light breeze, mixed with the pre spring warmth, pushed a wave of nostalgia over Topher. It brought back memories of simpler times when he was younger. High school seemed so long ago and all of his time spent anticipating the bell to release them from the monotonous learning process seemed like a dream. The smoke was sucked out of the window and into the sunlight. As he was puffing away at the cancer stick, he realized that Spring was on the way. Winter had dragged on longer than it was welcomed. The days were getting longer and the air felt cleaner, less stagnant. The changing seasons meant new life was to be born in the flowers and the trees would begin to blossom full of green foliage. His nostrils opened as his lungs swallowed in the refreshing air. He closed his eyes as the wind blew through his window and bounced off his cheeks. Topher thought about the tea party. He was rather rude to Sasuke. He hated being mean. It wasn't in his bones. The more he thought about it, the more he felt guilt. "_Oh son of a bitch. I feel bad now. Poop. I'm still not letting Savana know she was right. I'm going to at least drag it out a bit. . .I hope."_

Topher caved in before a week, Savana had acted simply pathetic without attention. The negativity was a little too much to bear. Cuddles also happened ahead of schedule, Savana was not above cuddlerape. There was only a sassy bone in Topher's body, not a mean one. They continued their normal relationship as soulmates. There was just one more thing that Topher needed to do that kept bugging him.

On his way to the bridal fashion office, he stopped to fuel on coffee. His fingers were typing away at a message he was going to send to Sasuke. "_Hey Sasuke, it's Topher. I just wanted to apologize for how rude I was that day. If you want, we can talk about it over coffee sometime?" *Sent* _With his order in hand he turned to leave and was startled to see Sasuke in line behind him. Their eyes met and lingered on each others. Topher wasn't quite sure what to say or how to act. His heart didn't race and fire didn't fuel his body. Confusion was the only emotion that controlled him. Sasuke was the first to act.

"Hello. It's. . .been some time." He said, voice steady.

"Yeah. It has. How have you been?" Topher asked, genuinely curious. Just then he heard Sasuke's phone buzzing with his text message. _"_Oh shit. I texted you just now actually. About the last time."

"Oh, you did?" He pulled out his phone to look. "Yeah. that sounds great. I'll text you about coffee sometime?"

"Perfect. I'll be waiting." They both stood looking at each other with smiles. Neither of them realizing that Sasuke's order was next and they were holding up the lines. Topher's phone buzzed.

"Oh shit. I've got work in ten. Shit. I've got to go. It was nice seeing you again." Topher hastily replied, fumbling with his bag and coffee. _I'm going to be late. Jesus Christ I'm an idiot!_The door opened and wind uplifted the moment. The air wasn't thick with humidity, it was a perfect moment to start fresh between the two.


End file.
